To walk on water

I truly love to read about this in the Word of God! I always try to put myself in the disciples place. I mean imagine, there I (or you, or anyone) am on a boat sailing along my merry way not concerned about what makes that boat float, or even about what keeps it from sinking. Then, all of sudden an angry storm threatens my very life. I am aware that Jesus is asleep below. I know He is there, I am so sure he will wake up and run up here where I am in the middle of the storm and rescue me, comfort me, help me! Instead, to my great surprise and horror, He is no where to be see. He is not even trying to help me. I am so scared, so sure death will arrive any minute. I am a bit angry He says He loves me, He has promised to hear me when I call, and yet, so far He has done nothing to help me, doesn't He realize I am about to go under?

         It is at that moment that I realize I see something in the
distant darkness! It is raining so hard, I am so cold, and scared, and
wet, I can't tell who or what it is I see,yet I feel my fear melting
away and giving way to joy, and hope. It is then that I see Him
could it be? could it really be Him? No, I tell myself, I must surely
be seeing things! I have to test the waters, I have to know if it is
really Him.
     I ask Him to help me walk out to Him if it is really Him.
He smiles and stretches out His arms of love to me. I feel all my
old crippling fears stir inside me like angry bees. Yet, something
about His face, it speaks peace, and joy, and courage to my
trembling heart. I look deeply into His beautiful eyes so bright,
so full of love, so full of love that I feel warm and strong.
     I take a deep breath, I tell myself not to dare look down,
or even think about it for a second because if I think about it there
is no way I will do it. Before I know it, i feel my feet leave the
safety of my boat. For a few glorious moments I feel something
I have never felt before, I feel bold and fearless!
    Somehow I know that I should keep my eyes on Him.
I know some how that I shouldn't look at the deep and dark water
below my feet. I try to tell myself that if He is there, there is nothing that I can't do, nothing! not even walk on water. I am so
full of fear I must look down. I need to see how deep and dark and
cold the water below my feet is.
   The minute I look down, I realize that I am no longer walking
on the water, I am no longer safe, instead, I am sinking quickly!
I am ashamed to even look in His direction, yet I must. As I
look across the water,gaze into His eyes once more, I am fully
expecting Him to be angry at me, to have a dark frown shading
His loving face.
    Instead, I see the same smile, the same love filled eyes. His
arms are still outstretched, still welcoming me. The next thing I
know, I feel His loving,strong arm reach down into the icy waters
and gently lift me up and onto the boat. Once I am safely back
on the boat, He wraps me in His loving arms and I feel more loved
than I ever felt in my entire life!
   I try to apologize for not having enough courage, enough faith
in Him and His love. As I open my mouth to speak He smiles and
says, "I will never leave you or forsake you, I will be with you
always." I am warmed and comforted to my very core!
   I go below and quickly get out of my wet clothes. I crawl
into my nice warm bed . As I drift off to sleep I promise myself
that I will never doubt Him again, I will have more faith It is the
least I can do. After all He gave His very life for me, how can
I not?